I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I have fence marks all over my body
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
