i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Shame - the story of my life.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
