So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
