I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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