i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
