You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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