ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
