Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
