He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
