I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
