Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
