you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
