After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
