I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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