He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
