Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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