Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm gonna fight the coyote
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
