When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
