"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
