i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
