but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
