He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize
