all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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