dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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