and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
