just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
