That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
