so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
where am i from again
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
