So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
