If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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