I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
