So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
