Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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