there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
