Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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