woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
