I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
