he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
