if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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