I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
