Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
