i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
