i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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