Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Hippo gnu deer
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
