I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
we should paint friendship bongs
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