Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
