East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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