Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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