Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
