I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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