The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
