The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
